tiny self care rituals for when you have nothing left to give
small, soft practices for returning to yourself when you’re running on empty
the current monthly practice:
⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
i know you hear a lot about “the most productive morning routine to set yourself up for optimal and ultimate success” and “the best diet for optimal brain and gut health” and “what you need to be doing in your 20’s” “what you should be doing now before its TOO LATE” “hurry up and wake up at 5 am but also stay up late working on your goals and make sure you workout twice a day and never ever ever ever ever ever eat a processed sugar!!!!!!!!!!!!”
anyway, phew, deep breath.
i rebuke that shit.
welcome to the fairy & the moon, your magical self love corner of the world. we grow here, just uh, not like that. lol.
the healing power of small routines
i am someone who values flow, room, space, and adaptability. i don’t feel the same way every day, or every week, or every month. sometimes i need more productivity, sometimes i require more rest.
i value listening.
listening to my body, my heart, my mind, and my soul.
i am disciplined, but it often feels more like devotion to me.
and the truth is, the only thing you can count on in this life, is change. change is constant, its ever-more, its always.
so having the touchstone of small, simple, grounded practices, can help you feel rooted through every season. storms and sunny days alike.
i absolutely adore the quiet magic of ritual. my morning coffee is one of the most sacred moments of my day. and i do it every single day. to me, it signals the acceptance of beginning another day. i have an idea of a high energy, lengthy morning routine that i like to do sometimes. but without fail, every single day, i have my morning coffee.
and without fail, every single night, i have my night-time tea.
why small routines matter
we often think change requires a grand gesture… a complete overhaul of our mornings, a strict plan, or a big leap. but the truth is, our bodies and minds respond best to the little things we do over and over. tiny routines quickly become anchors. they remind us where we are in the flow of our day, offering stability when everything else feels uncertain.
even the smallest rituals like: pouring tea, writing one sentence in a journal, stepping outside for fresh air can reshape the story we tell ourselves. these little acts whisper: “I can show up for myself.” and when repeated often enough, they become evidence of self-trust. they change how we see ourselves. not all at once, but in that quiet, steady way that growth loves to arrive.
✧.*
how tiny rituals reshape our nervous system
most of our nervous systems are in absolute overdrive. modern life is one big nervous system dysruptor. we’re oversaturated with instant gratification, bombarded with cheap dopamine hits, and surrounded by the expectation to constantly perform at 100%
its too much.
and on top of that, the weight of being a human is already something hefty to grapple with. its a lot. to constantly be navvigating change, growing-pains, heartbreak, realizations, mental health, physical health, feelings, thoughts, people, to-do lists.
ahhhhhhhhhhhh. ok sorry.
deep breaths!
here’s the good news:
a few simple grounding rituals that your body and brain can rely on, and things will feel a whole lot softer, simpler, and quieter.
you are allowed to take time out for you. it is safe to quiet the noise. and it is a great, big beautiful act of deep self love to carve time out to sit with yourself.
our nervous system is always listening, always scanning for signs of safety. it doesn’t need a dramatic reset… it needs repetition, rhythm, and gentle reminders that we are okay. that’s what small routines do. they become safety signals.
a cup of warm tea tells your body to exhale. a slow walk in the evening shifts your breath and heart rate into a calmer rhythm. even pausing for three deep breaths before opening your phone can activate the vagus nerve, signaling your system that it can move out of fight-or-flight and into rest-and-digest.
healing doesn’t always look like breakthroughs or big milestones. sometimes it looks like rhythm; showing up for the same tiny practice until your body begins to trust that you’re safe. these small rituals create little pathways of calm, and over time, they teach your nervous system a new language: one of steadiness, softness, and self-love.
here are a few of my favorite tiny rituals. not rules, not prescriptions, just gentle invitations you can borrow or adapt.
♡ a soft invitation
If your heart is craving a place to keep practicing this, Lessons in Self Love now has a Monthly Self-Love Practice for paid subscribers.
Each month, we move through one theme slowly, with guided reflection, journaling prompts, and gentle self-love work.
July’s practice is Coming Home to Yourself.
You can join us here & unlock your first post for free! :
my favorite tiny rituals:
・❥・prompt: what’s one small ritual you already do without thinking, and how could you honor it more deeply?
1. my beloved morning coffee
its so simple. its so-doable. its so comforting.
begin your day with something simple, easy, comforting, and grounding. maybe for you its tea, or breakfast, or prayer, or a song. maybe you’re like me, and you have a love affair with coffee.
pick one very simple, very small thing. and integrate it.
your body and mind will thank you for the touchstone. for the moment to welcome the day quietly and gently.
2. my journal
i have been journaling consistently for 10 years. how have i done that?
with no rules.
if i miss weeks of journaling, i simply sit down one day and do a “here’s what you’ve missed!” spread. and i keep it moving. no force, no guilt.
but it is such a beautiful practice to have the safe haven of my journal. something to go into that is mine and only mine. somewhere to say hello to myself.
3. touch grass
that is quite literally it. nothing more, nothing less.
bare feet on the grass.
nature’s healing elixir.
don’t time it, just be.
4. the deep breath
i love meditation, but sometimes all i need is a deep breath.
a few cycles of 4-4-4 breath before or after an activity. its something i come back to and remember throughout my days. a beloved touchstone.
5. one gratitude
committing to a full-blown daily gratitude journal can feel like a lot. but i often tell myself “lets think of one gratitude” and i will do exactly that. i’ll just think of it. and then usually i think of more.
6. my nightly tea
i love my sleepy-time tea with a passion. i do sleepy time tea, a lavender/chamomile tea, a lil’ dollop of honey, and some magnesium powder. i do it every single night, just like the coffee. but sometimes i add a book to the mix. and then i feel super-human.
7. the (one) stretch
sometimes a full yoga class is just a lot. but one, nice, gorgeous, scrumptious stretch is always worthwhile. i’ll even do it from my bed. its just lovely.
8. the guided journal prompt .*✧
when i’m feeling low, writing is extra difficult. it takes extra energy to come up with something to say. guided journals are one of my very favorite things in the world because they are such a soft, precious, hand-holding approach to the powerful practice that is journaling.
writing is a release, and writing honestly is a pathway to deep self love and lasting healing. a guided journal holds the container, so you don’t have to find the words all on your own. you can simply arrive, open the page, and pour out what’s been living inside of you.
this is exactly why i created Becoming Your Own Best Friend: The Guided Journal. it was made to be a gentle companion for the days when you want to come back to yourself, but need somewhere soft to begin.
you can find the guided journal here:
self love doesn’t need to be loud, extreme, perfect or performative. infact, thats quite literally the opposite of self love. it can be as small as a cup of tea or a single deep breath.
and sometimes, that’s more radical than any 5 a.m. routine. pick one tiny ritual today, and let it be enough. let it be the whisper that you are safe, that you are cared for, that you are already becoming.
And if you want to keep practicing this with me throughout the month, July’s Monthly Self Love Practice inside Lessons in Self Love is called Coming Home to Yourself.
It’s a gentle guided practice for paid subscribers who are learning how to return to themselves slowly, honestly, and with care.
Join the July practice here:
from my heart to yours,
Rhiana Meri
continue reading:
This was written on my birthday. That’s amazing because turning 25 feels a little like wandering without a map and figuring it out as you go and this was really helpful 🧚🏼♀️✨
"In that quiet, steady way that growth loves to arrive." Wow, what a stunning line. We're always told we need these massive, life-altering resets, but just pausing before picking up your phone feels so much more doable when you have absolutely nothing left to give. Such a gentle, comforting piece of writing x